FENERBAHCE WANT VAN PERSIE
It's pretty clear to us all that you don't see the word 'monster' written in headlines enough, but the Daily Star today redress that balance: 'Fenerbahce eye MONSTER move for Manchester United striker Robin van Persie,' is their effort.
It really is a story very low on details, with two-thirds of the words dedicated to Matt Le Tissier's thoughts that Van Persie is in decline.
'According to reports in Turkey, the Dutch striker was the subject of a recent enquiry from the Superlig side,' say the paper, and we all roll our eyes.
'It is being suggested that the Turkish club have contacted Van Persie's representatives but have been told a January deal is off the table,' the Star continue, and we all become entirely aware that no deal is likely.
LAMPARD'S STAYING PUT
The Daily Express have an 'exclusive' for us, and it's a bit of a whopper, actually. They claim that Frank Lampard will spend the whole of this season at Manchester City, rather than return to New York City in January.
The other big claim is the wage that Lampard will earn at City. The Express believe it to be £191,000 a week, which is £39,000 more than he was on at Stamford Bridge.
With Yaya Toure leaving for the Africa Cup Of Nations in January, Manuel Pellegrini is apparently keen to hold on to any home-grown players he can get his hands on. That's good news for Scott Sinclair.
INTER WANT BORINI. ISH.
The Daily Mirror report that Inter are keen to sign Liverpool misfit Fabio Borini in January.
However, there is a small fly in the ointment, namely the £14m fee that Liverpool are expecting for him. Quite how Brendan Rodgers expects to make a profit on the striker is unclear. It's a ballsy ask.
In fact, Borini's entire career is quite odd. He is meant to be worth £14m and has previously moved for fees of £20m in his career. This is a player with 17 career top flight goals. Has everyone gone mad?
AND THE REST
Aston Villa boss Paul Lambert could be sacked two months after signing a four-year contract extension if the club lose upcoming games against West Ham and Southampton... Former Manchester United and Everton manager David Moyes wants Phil Neville to be his No.2 if he takes charge at Real Sociedad... Manchester City and Bayern Munich will both attempt to sign Germany winger Marco Reus at the end of the season... Energy drink giants Red Bull are set to make a £60million bid to seize control of Leeds United from Massimo Cellino... Swansea and West Brom are tracking Alex Pritchard, who is currently on loan at Brentford from Spurs... New Bolton boss Neil Lennon has said he could return as Celtic manager one day and has discussed a future return with Celtic chief executive Peter Lawwell.
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